U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: Office of Public Health and Science - Office of Population Affairs teen talk Many Teens Are Saying "No." DON'T BE FOOLED into thinking most teenagers are having sex. THEY AREN'T! There's a lot to know and think about before you decide to say "yes" to having sex. Teen Talk #1 "You Are More Than Just a Body" During the teen years, you may be strongly attracted to another person. Your body may send you strong messages that make you want to get closer to that person. But your body won't tell you how having sex now may harm you. You may not know that: Almost 1,000,000 teens become pregnant each year. Abstinence -not having sex - is the only 100% sure way to protect against the risk of pregnancy. Teens are more likely to have problems during pregnancy. Babies of young, teen mothers are more likely to be born with serious health problems. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are at epidemic levels. Abstinence - not having sex - is the most effective way to avoid herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, and HIV/AIDS. One in four teens who has sex gets an STD. "You Are More Than Feelings" Sexual feelings can be pretty strong! So think before you act. Think about your future. Think about the consequences. Think about yourself! Ask yourself, "Is it better to wait for sex with my life partner?" STDs can be painful. They can make it impossible to have a baby. Some are incurable, and some may even cause death. Face it! Sex for teens is pretty risky to your body, feelings and future! Some Questions To Ask Yourself There's a lot to know before making your decision about whether to say "yes" or "no" to having sex. Here's a checklist to help you decide: Yes No ??When I get married, will I be glad I waited to have sex? ? ? ??Would my parents approve of me having sex now? ? ? ??If I have a child, am I responsible enough to provide for its emotional and financial support? ? ?? ??If the relationship breaks up, will I be glad I had sex with this person? ?? ?? ??Am I sure no one is pushing me into having sex? ?? ?? ??Do I know how to tell my partner I don't want to have sex now? ?? ?? ??Am I absolutely sure my partner is not infected with an STD including HIV/AIDS? ?? ?? If any of your answers to these questions is "NO," then you'd better WAIT. "Decisions about sex may be the most important decisions you'll ever make, so think before you act." "Should I Have Sex Now Or Should I Wait?" It's true some teens decide to go ahead. But you'll have to live with the consequences of your decision. Ask yourself these questions before making up your mind: ??If we're fully committed as a couple, why not wait until we're married? ??Am I willing to risk STDs, including HIV/AIDS, and maybe becoming sterile so I can't have a baby? ??Am I willing to risk getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant? ??Am I ready and able to support a child on my own? ??Can I handle the guilt and conflict I may feel? ??Will my decision hurt others - my parents, my friends? "What Should I Know If I Decide Not to Have Sex?" Contrary to rumor, at least half of all teens decide not to have sex. Many teens are worried about hurting the other person's feelings. BUT it's not so hard to say "NO" and still remain friends. For example, you might say: ? "I like you a lot, but I'm just not ready to have sex." ? "I don't believe in having sex before marriage. I want to wait." ? "I enjoy being with you, but I don't think I'm old enough to have sex." ? "I don't feel like I have to give you a reason for not having sex. It's just my decision." ALSO, there are different ways to show affection for another person without having sex. Try to avoid situations where sexual feelings become strong. "Stopping" is much harder then. Talk about your feelings and what seems right for you. Stay busy with sports and group activities. If you and your partner can't agree, then maybe you need to find someone else whose beliefs are closer to your own. "What Should I Know About Pressure?" Be Popular, Be Part of The In-Crowd, Be a Man / Be a Woman, Everybody's Doing It, Sex Is Fun, If It Feels Good, Do It It comes from everywhere... advertising, friends, movies, TV shows, songs, and books... BUT STOP AND THINK. Will having sex really make you more popular, more mature, or more desirable? Probably not. In fact, having sex may even cause your partner to lose interest. The one sure thing about having sex is that you may be in for problems you don't want to deal with. "What Should I Know About Boy/Girl Relationships?" They're great...but good relationships don't develop overnight. They take time. Sex is not what makes a relationship work. Watch out for lines like, "If you care about me, you'll have sex with me." ??You don't have to have sex with someone to prove you like or love them. ??Sex should never be used to pay someone back for something...all you have to say is "Thank you." ??Sharing time, thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and most of all, mutual respect, is what makes a relationship strong. ??Saying "No" can be the best way to say "I love you." "Where Can I Get Information That Will Help Me?" If you want more information or help, talk to someone who cares about you. Ask your parents, an older brother or sister, other family members, or an adult you feel will listen and give you good advice. There are people and organizations in your community who want to help - your family doctor; your priest, minister, or rabbi; your school nurse or counselor; or local health-care providers. January 1998, Updated March 2003, Revised September 2005 For additional copies, please contact: Office of Population Affairs Clearinghouse E-mail: clearinghouse@dhhsopa.net . Phone: 1-866-640-7827 . Fax: 1-866- 592-3299 Copies available for download at Web site: http://opa.osophs.dhhs.gov/pubs/publications.html